Top 10 Things That Men Lie About!

Everyone lies, but it seems like men lie more than woman.  I’ve spent thousands of hours interviewing & researching the Top 10 things that men lie about.  Not really, but remember what this post is all about. 
Creepy Guys

The Lying Male Species!

Below are my scientific results, starting with number 10 and working down to the #1 item that men lie about.

10.  Flossing.  Just ask your local dentist how many times they’ve heard this little “white lie”.  A guy could have his teeth falling out from gum disease and he says he still flosses 2-3 times a week.  “Yea….right!”

9.  Age.   Lying about your age has always been way up the list for what women lie about.  But, a lot of men lie about their age also.  I’ve determined that lying 2-3 years away from your actual age is not too bad.  A man that is trying to pass for 5+ years younger then his actual age is pretty pathetic.  But, the worst category is trying to pass yourself as 10+ or more then your actual age.  This guy’s name is David Hasslehoff.

8.  Height.  The majority of short guys usually have serious mental problems.  These guys have probably been picked on or bullied their entire life.  Inadequacy, self-esteem issues and “Napoleon” complex afflicts this group of men.  On the opposite side (sex), I once had a good female friend in college that would always say her height was 5′ 14″.  Hehehe.

7.  Income.  This category includes all types of money or income lies.  The most common income lie is how much money you make.  But, a lot guys also lie about how much they spend on certain toys and vices (cars, porn, gambling, etc.)

6.  Intelligence.  Most of the items that we all lie about are typically vanity items or control/power issues.  Men are no exception.  Lying about your “smarts” includes lying about SAT and ACT scores, G.P.A, non-existent college degrees, etc.

5.  Cosmetic/Beauty.  This item will probably get the most discussion/debate.  Most Top 10 list would probably not have this item near the top of the list (close to #1).  But, cosmetic/beauty items that men lie about is a very diverse category.  This list includes:  cosmetic surgery (lypo, nose surgery, etc.), coloring hair/beard, waxing, pedicures, manicures, teeth whitening, sun tanning, etc.

4.  Weight.  On the list, lying about your weight is separated a little from it’s two other siblings (age & height).  Men who lie about weight could go up or down.  Most men don’t lie about being older than what they are, just younger.  Most men also don’t lie about being shorter than their actual height.  But, lying about weigh is probably split 60/40.  60% of men are overweight and under report their actual weight.  Approximately 40% of the male population that are under 150 lbs, lie that they actually weigh more then their actual weight.  This is called the “runt” factor.

3.  Sexual Activity/Encounters.  Men lying about their sexual experience has always been high up in list.  If you dare to ask your husband, boyfriend, fiance about his sexual encounters then you will want to remember this formula.  Number of partners divide by 2 then subtract 3, this will be his exact number of sexual partners.

2.  Penis Size.   The glorious lie about the size of your “johnson”.  In a guys mind, the length of a man’s “inch worm willy” is very, very important.  But, penis size should really not be this high on the list.  Men associate their sexual identity based on the size of their penis.  Women sometimes associate their sexuality based on the size of their “melons”.  My wife has always said that women have it harder than men because their “fun bags” can be seen and criticized by everyone.  Men’s penis size is typically not out in public view for everyone to judge and criticize.

 

 Drum roll………..please

 

 1.  Masturbating!  99.9999% of all men masturbate.  All ages of men masturbate, from 13 to 93 years old.  A man could be in a sexually full-filled relationship with Angeline Jolie or Padma Lakshmi (Top Chef) and they would still be “jerking the gerkin”.  This category also includes lying about the frequency of masturbating.  I’ve got another formula for you. If you have the guts to ask your man when was the last time he masturbated.  Just ask him how many “days” it has been since you last masturbated.  You should replace “days” with “minutes”.  For example, “Sweetheart it has been 60 days since I last polished the knob”.  Really what he means it has been just 60 minutes ago.

I hope you enjoyed this list.  Do you disagree or agree with the top 10?  Please feel free to contribute your “TOP 10″ list of what guys lie about.  I will share all comments on this post.  Click on comments link right under the subject headline.

There is a chance I could have missed some important lying categories.  Possible other lying categories that just missed the Top 10 were job/career, shoe size, etc. 

FYI, I purposely left off lying about affairs or cheating.  I didn’t want my post to turn into a hate fest.

Also, I’m a dude, not a female.  I put together this list as honest perspective on what men lie about.

Enjoy.

19 thoughts on “Top 10 Things That Men Lie About!

  1. I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

  2. I hate men! I honestly don’t believe that there is such a thing as a good guy! I have been dating this guy (that I thought was wonderful) for over 2 years!! How wrong I was. While going through his sent emails I found some from him to women he emailed from an on-line personals ad!! There was like 10!! Sent over 3 different days! Talking about how sweet of a guy he is, how he’s looking for a good girl! What the heck?!?! You HAD a good girl in me!! Never once have I lied to you! Never once have I cheated! I’ve rubbed your back when it was sore! Bent over backwards to do things to make sure you knew you were special!! And this is what I get?? I’m done! I should have been the one searching for someone else!! Oh, by the way…I found your porn sites that you apparently constantly search!! Nice to know that the 3 weeks you kept telling me no to sex was spent pleasuring yourself looking @ milf.com!! MEN ARE PIGS!!

  3. I mean…I have a boyfriend and we have been together for 2 years and the sex is great…it is constant and never lagging in new, exciting stuff but the other day, I found out he still has the need to masturbate…WHAT THE HELL!! I mean, I wouldn’t say I was Angelina Jolie but I’m certainly not ugly by any means. Talk about feeling like I can’t fulfill his needs…it makes me feel horrid and like I’m not enough. Am I the only girl in the world that finds this offensive as I have chatted to some of my girly friends and they are fine with their boyfriends polishing it…please tell me I’m not weird and that this behaviour is neither necessary or endearing. In fact, it’s really getting my goat…help, someone

    • Hi Becci! i totally understand were u are going. i had a boyfriend who i had sex minimun twice a day and still went trough his stuff (i had a feeling, you know?) and i noticed this jerk was still watching porn and masturbating. i mean c’mon its not like the sex was great but though i did it twice a day (sometimes up to four on weekends!!!). how can a woman can be pleased with and ok or not good sex and guy though he gets what he wants and the times he wants, still have the time and its willing to go online and do it himself???? when i found that and confronted him and he got made bc i went through his stuff…wtf????……now im dating this guy which i know though he tells me he dont do it he does. i talked to friends and they all said to me is normal. i still cant believe they do it! i undertand a single guy doing it, but a guys who is getting sex from his partner. why should him?

  4. I’m sorry, but cherryamore… stfu.
    Honestly. You are ONE woman who has been with HOPEFULLY less than 100 men. There are, in excess, 3250000000 men on earth. Please stop making other men feel like complete shit just because you pick out the wrong men. And, unlike your ignorant ass, I understand that MOST women, not all, think like you. And for those of you who do not, god bless.

    Ironically, I’m an atheist….

    • Didn’t bother to see how long ago u posted but john I agree with you and just wanted to let you know that it irritates me and sensible women to see posts like that try to ignore that Shit I guess cuz we both know it won’t go away

  5. Well, I think you all suck (Not you John, you rock). First of all, Humans (Homo sapiens-sapiens in this case) are the “Complex thinker” species of man, so use your brains and realize that not EVERYONE is not the same (Excluding the fact that everyone is stupid). Men, first (’cause I’m selfish) Aren’t all under the “99.9999%” category, bring it down to “People who have a different MINDSET” here’s what you would understand, Calamity Jane. “Some men like different kinds of women, in that sense, some men lie about different things (This Post isn’t about “Women are bad! Oh my! [God sucks FYI]“)
    Here you go, this is what I DON’T lie about, (Because according to this, no man has an advanced education.)
    1. Masturbation – I’m NOT in an active relationship, and I “Polish the knob” every – Nope. I have no sex drive. (Mental problems FYI)
    2.Penis size – Nope. I don’t give a shit, someone’s going to see it if it happens to be that I lie, they believe me and magic happens.
    3.Sexual activity – This is too obvious to just say that It’s one of the “If” factors.

    Now think, women. Do you ALL lie about domestic violence? No? Then fuck off because males feel the same about 10 different lies. Someone post up “Top 10 Things That Authors Lie About!” And you win a cookie.
    All out brains are different, we all like different things. We all do different things, and we all lie about things.

    BTW, I lie about flossing ALL the time. So that’s the only true one.
    (P.S John, you win for being Atheist. That makes two of us.)

  6. my husband lies about where he bought my present from or how much it cost. I think its totally stupid considering he leaves receipts around or i already have seen it at a particular shop. Is it just my husband or do other men do this too ?

    • Did you ever stop and think why he might fib about it? Could it be that he doesn’t want you to think you have a certain price tag on how much he loves you? It shouldn’t be about how much or where it came from, if it’s meaningful than accept it as a nice gift and say thank you.

  7. Well.. Most men do lie about how they spent thier night with beautiful woman mostly. 75% lie about the amount of money they did spend in buying presents for girls.

  8. I m a woman but i absolutely agree men are habitual liar. My husband lie about every little thing, from what he had for lunch to how often he masturbate. I do think i am pretty attractive, but for some reasons my husband would prefer to masturbate over having sex. He masturbate secretly, thinking i didnt know, when ask him what he was doing, he has never once admit he was masturbating. But he masturbate every single day! So now i pretend i didnt know. I guess its normal for men to masturbate, buy what they tend to lie about it? Do they think they are doing something wrong? Are they embarass

    • Its funny how you say men lie a lot, hey I garentee Woman lie just as much, so STFU!!! Who cares if someone masturbates, doesnt mean y’all didn’t provide the right need for him. Who gives a shit, shut the mother fucking up, EVERYONE LIES…

      • Hey asshole! Maybe you need to calm the fuck down & stfu!!! Little defensive there-choking on some lies maybe??? You probably have the World’s smallest member & you yank it morning, noon, & night thinking its gonna grow the more you choke it!! This post was for fun! I think it’s HILARIOUS how many men are getting their panties all in a twist. Proves you’re all covering something up!!!!
        What men lie about #11-They lie to cover up other lies! &
        Btw, No where does it say women don’t lie!! I’ll be the first one to say there are some horrible & wretched women out the who lie all of the time! None of the men that posted thus far are making the male species look any better, so quit tryin’!!! This post is NOT going to steer any grown woman towards douche bags! It happens yes, but we do sometimes marry the good ones-I did! He lies yes, but he’d never cheat or do anything to deliberately hurt me. So all your points are invalid!
        And who gives a flying f@#k if any of you are atheist??? That’s probably a lie as well!!!!

  9. Kind of a shitty article. All this is doing is convincing women to not trust men at all. A lot of men are scumbags, this is true. But these ones are pretty damn easy to pick out, the problem is that a lot of girls tend to gravitate towards d-bags while pushing nice guys to the side. Mistaking assholes as simply having ‘passion.’

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